The Nitch.

It seems as of late that my family life has been evolving, taking on new aspects that we never saw up until just a few months ago. I think that this is to be expected, for things to change like this, when you have a trans-continental move. I think that life probably changes like this a lot even without the move when you have two little people walking in your wake who are changing each and every single day, coming up with new independent tendencies and exploits to make you feel awkward in public. Our life changed like this one other time (in the years since we've been married), and that was our transition from England to St. Louis, which also happened to coincide with our transition from young newlyweds to overwhelmed parents. I was not prepared for that change. I had only just gotten used to England, and had only just gotten used to married life. St. Louis will forever be that awkward teenage-stage of our marriage, where there were too many things going on in our own bodies and lives to really be able to focus on what newlyweds normally tend to in those first few years. It was a great time, a time of change that I will be singing songs of thanksgiving for for the rest of my years, but one that I wasn't really feeling too equipped to be dealing with.

And then we made the decision to come back to England. One that was intertwined so tightly with both excitement and anxiety that I couldn't tell where one began and the other ended. I was so ready for a change. St. Louis never felt like home, and I could never come to grips with putting down roots. It just never happened. It could have been the house, it could have been the heat. I'm not entirely sure. But England presented us with an opportunity to start over. So we took it.

I really can't explain just how happy we are here. Within weeks of us moving into our house, it feels more like 'home' than St. Louis ever did. The Lord was gracious, as He always is, and lead us down the right paths to meet some amazing people. I have a circle of women that I adore, all of whom have children the same ages as mine. The kids have FRIENDS. Friends that they ask for by name.

Adjustments are still being made, by Paul and I and the kids. Alex is overwhelmed with the amount of playmates she has here. We go to an organized playgroup once a week in the village next to us, and then we get together with our new buds once a week as well, for a slightly less organized but much more fun playdate. It's taken her a while to get used to all of the activity, but she is blossoming. The other night Paul and I were going out, which usually involves us sneaking away while the kids are distracted by our babysitter, but Alex caught sight of us, and instead of screaming and clawing and not letting go, she ran up, said "BYE MOMMY! KISS!" It was no big deal. I was amazed. It was such a huge step. Sharing is still a hard concept, but we are getting there.

She is getting so big. She helps me cook.

I am starting to see myself in her. In her cheese grins that she gives me when I ask her to smile. I see years and years of goofing off for picture time coming back to bite me.

Eli is doing really well too. He gets helped out by his sister alot, which makes me happy to see. He spends most of his days finding new ways to amuse himself, and lately, it's been trying to fit into our toy bus. I have to hand it to him, once he sets his mind on something, he sticks to it. That will serve him well in the future. Now, though, not so much.

I've been finding my own way as well. I realize now looking back on it that I did not manage my time very well in St. Louis. I was always with the kids. Each and every single day. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. But I never took breaks. I never did anything to hold on to myself. I was mom, or wife. This was especially true during Paul's deployment. I see now that had I taken more effort to have time to myself, things would have been healthier for both myself and the kids. Best to learn from these mistakes though. So here, I've been going out of my way to find things that inspire different parts of my mind than the ones used to change diapers and do laundry. And it feels so good. I can come home from these things and be a happier mom, and happier wife. I feel more like the person I was before I had kids. I'm not trying to hold on to my youth, and I understand that change is inevitable. But I want the kids to remember me as more than the tired looking woman who shuffled behind them to pick up their wake.

Anyway, one of those things has been a ceramics class that I frequent on occasion. I've only done two pieces, but it's nice to get into a room filled with other people who are quietly bent over their projects, taking in the silence. This was my second piece, and I am altogether thrilled with how it turned out.

I've also been having fun in the kitchen. When the kids go to bed, our kitchen gets transformed into a baking machine. I love it. I've been experimenting with new recipes, and also ones with that are my own. It's been fun. I have a husband with a strong stomach, and that has certainly made it easier.

All in all, we are happy. We are content. And that's a really great feeling.