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There's too many things going on at the moment. Paul and I have somehow landed at some major crossroad in our lives, where decisions must be made and 'adult' things accomplished. I am not sure how we got here.... one minute we were walking along just fine, and all of a sudden, there are 10 HUGE MAJOR LIFE-CHANGING decisions that NEED TO BE DECIDED NOW! NOW! NOW! And I have several different voices in my head saying, nay, yelling at me, telling me to go here, or do this, or eat that, or DON'T EAT THAT, IT'S TEN POINTS YOU FOOL! And it all starts sounding like the noises that Alex makes when you are making her food and she has lost all sorts of patience. It's the type of noise that makes your brain melt and your eyes cross and the dog howl. NOT PLEASANT.



So in lieu of all of these things that require me to use far too much of my brain power all at once, I decided to write a post about absolutely nothing. Enjoy.

Yesterday we took Alex to her 18 month check-up. (And here is where I say, I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW BIG SHE IS!!!) She checked out healthy as a horse... er... kid. She's right on course for verbal skills, motor skills, drive-da-mama nuts skills. And her weight. 20 pounds. Exactly. TWENTY POUNDS. To put that in perspective, Eli is 15 months younger than her, and weighs 14 pounds. Wow. I knew she was tiny, but that astounds me. She is in the 2% range for weight, and the 45% range for head circumference. No wonder she is always falling over. (Case in point, yesterday she was sitting on the coffee table [points for me] and for no good reason, she tipped over and fell off. Who knows?)

Well. I was planning on writing more, but I hear Alex screaming "UH....OOHHHHH" on the monitor, which is never a good omen. Wish me luck.

Today, I kicked a dog in the head.

...And I don't even feel bad about it. Isn't that awful?

But first, I just have to comment on this. I am watching the President's address to Congress right now, and though I like that any President must go through the gauntlet that is Congress when bringing his ideas to fruition, I can't help but laugh at the ritual it's become. Speech writers try to pack as many BAM phrases into one speech as possible, and by BAM phrases, I mean the hundreds of sentences that are probably underlined, italicised, AND put in BOLD PRINT because those are the ones that people are going to stand up and clap for. SAY THIS ONE WHILE WAGGING YOUR FIST!!! And no, I am not just dogging on Obama. I'm not his biggest fan, but every President does it. So, they say these phrases, and half (or perhaps if it was a good enough BAM phrase, the whole) room stands and cheers. And what I love is the OTHER HALF of the room. The part that's not standing. The part that is shaking their heads with that smile on their faces. The smile that says, 'Oh those silly Republicans (or vice versa)' when in reality they are probably getting really annoyed that these people keep standing up and cheering every time the President says the magic word (I think that's how they do it... they get together before and agree on a word that every body is going to stand up and cheer for... then the President is left confused as to why he got a big cheer every time he talked about demagoguery).
Well, that's all I have to say about politics.

Back to the kicking of the hounds!

I would like to start this out by adding a disclaimer that I didn't mean it. ... But that would be a lie.

BUT. I at least have a good reason.

I have been making an effort to get the dog out on walks at least every other day. Poor Violet has been neglected for a while as mom and dad adjusted to life with two kids. So tonight we went for a stroll, and because Alex didn't kick and scream and spin her head around mulitple times when I broke out the stroller, she went with us. I was having a nice, quiet walk, which was sped up by Violet pulling my left side a smidge faster than my right side wanted to go. As I was approaching one of the houses, I noticed that there were two guys out there (father and son I assume), both making half-hearted attempts to catch a dog. I assumed that because they were out front with a collar on the dog that this dog would not bother us. But as we passed, the lure of a dog, small child with her hands out and a sweaty, slightly overweight power-walker was too much to pass up. The dog (a puppy pit... quite cute actually.... ok, now I am starting to feel bad for kicking it.... ) (no... not really) came over and made aquaintences with Violet as dogs tend to do (BUTT-SMELLING). They were getting excited, bounding around each other, taking turns knocking into me. The puppy's owners were standing on their porch staring, not seeming too concerned. The dogs continued to bound and sniff, then started to bark, then started to growl, which quickly progressed to little snaps at each other. And all the while, Alex is straining to get out of her stroller, with one hand reached out towards the dogs. Now... I am not all about grabbing dogs I don't know. I am a firm believer in owners taking responsibility for their dogs, making sure to the best of their ability that other people will not be put in the position of having to restrain a dog they don't know. But, tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum were not moving from their porch. So, I tried to get in between the dogs, Violet backed off, puppy went for the next target, which is was my little one-year-old with her hand outstretched....

He didn't get her. But he did get something.

And after that, the owners came and got him. The father looked like he wanted to say something along the lines of 'how dare you kick my dog', but I had MAMA BEAR written all over my face, and I think he decided it would be safer if he just removed the hound from my sight.

Put. The dog. On a leash.




And I suppose I should add a disclaimer that this was not a wind-up-and-kick kick, it was more of a forceful redirection with my foot. The dog didn't yelp, limp, or even cower. He just went for Violet again. So... no hate comments pa-lease.

Morning Conversation

Scene: Eli laying on couch. Alex pointing to his various body parts.

Alex: (points to eye) EeeeyyyyyeeE?

Laura: yes, eye.

Alex: (points to nose) EeeeyyyyyeeE?

Laura: Nose.

Alex: (points to arm) EeeeeyyyyeeE?

Laura: Arm.

Alex: (points to foot) EEeeyyyyeeeE?

Laura: Foot.

Alex: (points to belly) EEeeeeeyyyyeee?

Laura: Belly.

Alex: (points to crotch area) EeeeeyyyyeeeE?

Laura: (thinking daughter will continue with previously set routine) ....Penis.

Alex: .... Peeeeniiiiii?

Laura: .....