Happy Week/birth/technicallyyouaren'tbornyetbutIcelebrateanyway/day to you, Little Fetus!

My little mudslinger is 30 weeks old today! Yahoo! Not only does that mean that he (according to the handy emails I get) is about the size of a head of cabbage (not sure why they compare him to food every week... sometimes I have no idea what the food is and then I am all thrown off because HOW BIG IS MY CHILD THIS WEEK?!?! DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY CHINESE CABBAGE I CAN REFERENCE?! OR WHAT ABOUT AN ENGLISH HOTHEAD CUCUMBER? IS THAT THE SAME THING AS A NORMAL CUCUMBER?? AND IF IT IS, WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THAT?? I'VE WASTED MY LIFE REFERRING TO CUCUMBERS AS 'CUCUMBERS', WHEN OBVIOUSLY ENGLISH HOTHEAD CUCUMBER IS SO MUCH MORE AWESOME!)... anyway, not only that, but that means that I only have 10 (maybe less) weeks left. Praise the Lord. Bring on the pain, bring on the recovery, bring on the sleeplessness that is newborn infant. But please, empty my uterus so more blood can go to my brain again. I am tired of being pregnant stupid. And pregnant clumsy. And pregnant FAT. Yesterday I peed all over myself for no good reason, and I am blaming it on 1) pregnant stupid and 2) my bruised and battered bladder. No joke. I have a tendency to pee blood on and off, and being that there is no infection, and I am pretty sure I am done with the kidney stones, I think it is because this child will not stop punching me. He beats me up. Alex did not do this. Sure, she kicked and moved and whatever. But he kicks and punches. Yesterday, I was in a meeting and he kicked me in my bottom rib so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. This poor girl that I was with is so excited to have kids, but I think I have scared her with my pregnancy. I keep assuring her that the 2 days that it took to deliver Alex were the best two in my life, despite the pain (and the vomit, and the diarrhea, and the blood... and oh my word did I mention that big, scary crochet needle?!). It's worth it. You just have to get through it. And not all women are cursed when it comes to anything dealing with ovaries. So, no worries. You'll be fiiiiiiiiine.

In fully-developed baby news, Alex is talking. Only 'hi', but she knows what she is saying and it's always accompanied by the most excited wave ever. It's so.... I guess the word is odd, hearing her talk. She's so tiny still... I'll get used to it. I felt the same way when she started walking. To see such a small child doing it is just really... odd. But I suppose we are advancing towards the toddler stage at a nice pace. She will be 13 months on the 4th. I can't believe it. I am hoping to get a camera before the 18th, because that is when her 'One-andthensum' party is. Which I am looking forward to. I am really excited to bake her a little Alex cake and let her go at it. She's had cake by now, but it's been spoonfed up until this point. I wanted to save the cake-mess for when Paul and I were both with her and it was the cake I made for her. Call me selfish. (Do it and I'll pray that you get pregnant. And if you are a boy, that's going to be a really awkward conversation with your significant other.)

In grown-up news, I am officially a Mary Kay consultant. I picked up this gig after attending a church funtion where they were selling some stuff. I talked with a few of the women, and then signed up the next day. I think this is humorous for several reasons, the most important being that I don't really wear makeup. But it seems like a good product and I am excited to have a sort of business going on in this house. It's nice to feel like I can add financially to our lives, and I cannot tell you how excited I am to buy Paul a birthday present with not-his-money. I have until May to make $150 in spare cash to afford it. I think it's a reasonable goal. I can't say what it is on here for obvious reasons... but it's going to be awesome. For him.

So anyway, if you want to check it out....

www.marykay.com/lrinas

Feel free to browse and uhm, purchase anything you want. Did I mention that the Satin Hands kit is amazing? And there are plenty of things that make great birthday/mother's day gifts!! And look! Free shipping!

Yep, shameless advertising. But do you blame me? (If yes.... pregnant. And I assure you that it will be my type of pregnancy. No perky pregnant princesses allowed here.)