Blessing in a dark, dirty, rotten, horrible disguise.

I don't even know where to begin. This past week has been the hardest since I have had children, which is saying a lot considering I've been through the newborn "sleepless in St. Louis" stage twice in a very short amount of time. But I am so thankful that it happened this way, I can't even begin to explain. Talk about God giving you what you need, and not exactly what you want.

It started a few short days after Paul left. Alex was starting to feel a little warm, and starting to slow down just a little bit. The night before my father was to drive home, he noticed that his throat was a bit sore. If only I had seen this coming. Although it's good that I didn't. The next morning, Dad left, Alex was a bit more cranky, Eli was having some serious skin issues which was making him ANGRY BABY. Fast forward to that night, and the kids were waking each other up with their ANGRY WAILS every half hour. My mom and I were tag-teaming as best we could, and I was taking breaks here and there to weep helplessly in a corner. I was trying (and failing) to convince myself that the next four months would not be THIS. They would be normal with my two normal babies who smiled and loved mommy instead of yelling at her and throwing up on her. Again, failing.

I've started a tradition where each night I cross off the day, marking one step closer to when Paul gets home. Saturday is blacked out. Scribbled into darkness, so I can pretend it never happened.

Mom and I laughed nervous laughs all day Sunday, not wanting to talk about the night before. We couldn't help but remember it, however, as we stared at each other's enormous bags under our eyes. It was undeniable that that was the single worse night since I've become a parent. I cringed as I put the kids to bed that night, waiting for the first to wake up and morph into ANGRY BABY again. They did each have a turn or two getting up that night, but it was nothing like the first. Mom and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Monday morning, I wake up and feel like death. I can't swallow anything, even my own saliva. Talking hurts. Turning my head hurts. I see my doctor that day, he takes one look at my throat and asks when I was exposed to Strep. Lovely. So I start some meds for that, and three days later, what do you know! Itchy hands! I am not sure what happened to my body when Eli came into this world, but something must have shifted. I've never had a problem with medicine before him, and now, since he's been born, I have had THREE different reactions to THREE different medicines. This last one was a penicillin based medicine, and my doctor just laughed and said, "You are getting awfully hard to treat."

The kids seemed to be getting better. Eli's skin stopped falling off (always a good thing). Alex appeared to be better, but was still a little slow. After have been told by my pediatrician several times that both Alex and Eli were too young to get strep, I brought Alex in anyway, and what do you know, she tested positive. So now I have the task at convincing her that the pink goo that I am shooting into her mouth twice a day is in fact enjoyable and not something to run away from me laughing every time you see me open the fridge (which is where it's kept).

So, I was feeling better after my various medicines. And then Eli got a cold. And now I have a cold. And a sneaking suspicion that the strep virus that is currently residing in my throat is laughing in the face of the medicine I am currently on.

But like I said. Blessing in disguise. I am on my own now, mom left yesterday. And now I know FOR A FACT that because I survived this past week, the following 3 and a half months will be incredibly easy.

Thank you Lord.