Growing up.

For as long as I can remember (or should I say, for as long as I have cared), I have never, EVER felt my age. Perhaps I was feeling exactly how my age should feel, but I never felt how I thought others of that age appeared to feel. Does that make sense? Probably not.

Anyway- never felt my age. This has been more true since I've become a mother. I have never felt old enough, mature enough, ready enough to be a mother. And of TWO children, no less.

Because of this, somewhere way deep down, I did not have high expectations of myself with this deployment. I was expecting myself to fail. To burn the house down. To miss some significant sign in one my children that would lead to some devestating illness. To forget to feed the dog. Anything.

But in reality, I've surprised myself. I've handled it. It's only been two weeks... but it's been two weeks. And I've faced sickness after sickness, our furnace going out, an outlet just about setting my house on fire, and the loss of power all together. And through it all, I've managed. I've done what needed to be done. I've fed the dog. And as I sit in my clean house, smelling the soup that's been brewing in our crock pot since the power was turned back on, I finally feel my age. I feel like a mother. I feel like I am earning, bit by bit, the right to give my children advice that they probably won't take anyway. I feel like an adult. Which considering I have been legally an adult for about 7 years, it feels pretty darn good.